Today was a beautiful day and a great representation of Colorado weather. The temperature has been dropping below freezing almost everynight for the last 4 nights and then today the temp was almost 70. We are expecting similar weather through Wednesday and then the nighttime temp will drop to 22 degrees. Meaning that I will once again have to cover the new tulips and hycinths I just planted a week ago. (That was really smart, huh.)
I seem to have more energy when it is sunny and warm and so out I went into the yard wearing a light jacket, gloves and my oxygen tank on my back.
If you have never had to depend on a metal cylinder tank to carry enough oxygen for you to even walk, then you should try it sometime. it's like getting a workout by carrying a heavy weight on your back. The only thing is, when a person is already weak and has to breathe through a tube for oxygen, any weight added at all uses up all the bodys oxygen stores. Everything feels heavy, including your body. It is bulky and awkward to move around and I must remember to be very careful when bending down or I may topple over on my head due to the topheavy load. Won't that look cute?
Well, anyway, I slowly did a little cleanup in the yard and watered my newly planted flowers. My Aunt gave me some garlic and a chives plant which I added to the garden spot my husband already rototilled.
I love spring the best of all. Everything is so fresh and new. The new green is so bright and smooth, not dark and worn from weather. Flowers stand out on new branches and bushes and really catch my eye after a long gray winter. I feel just as new as those flowers and buds on the trees except for the aches and weariness of my body. It is my spirit that is light and airy and looking forward to each new day and each new miracle of life.
My sister, Brenda at www.itswonderfullygood.blogspot.com has really been a joy to me since we were young children. I'll tell that tale some other day, but suffice it to say she is a bright spot in my world. I am glad she suggested this site because it will be a place I can say whatever is on my mind without worrying about how it might affect others since my object is to feel my own feelings and maybe give someone else the encouragement to share theirs. I think it is very important to touch other people where it matters most, in our hearts and minds. I am hoping others will tell me it's ok when I'm down just as I hope to do the same for someone.
It is important for everyone, not just those of us with clocks running out, to feel like we matter and to be able to give of ourselves to someone else. What better way for people to know that they will, in some small way, live on in others.
My daughter, Amber has been the biggest blessing for me through so much of my trials. She was there everytime I turned around and she was the one to take me to the hospital a few times and also waited for the ambulance with me. She spent countless hours with me in the hospital each time I was there and then spent so much time emailing everyone I have ever known, I think, just to keep them in the loop when I have been on deaths door. What a gem and I was lucky enough to be her mother. I'm crying as I add that I'm not sure what I ever did to deserve such love and devotion but she's my gift from God.
My husband, Rick, is definitely my reward from God. We met in 1996 when I was a single mother doing foster care for up to 9 kids including my own. I once had a close friend give me a suggestion about dating. She said not to mention how many kids I had on the first date or even the second or the guy might not come back. I told her that was all the more reason I would be sure to mention my 'exciting' life as a mother to so many. What a perfect screen to weed out the unlikely prospects. Only someone who really really really liked me for who I was, would dare to come back for more.
Lo and behold, there was this sweet and super quiet guy named Rick that I met at a church singles weekend retreat. We met on the basketball court and played 'horse' (I won, of course) and when we left for the lodge I forgot my jacket on a rock. Without saying a thing he picked it up and carried it for me. He's been picking up after me ever since. He was at my side every single day for the three month long hospital stay and every other day I have spent in at other times. He has taken care of me physically, emotionally and is definitely my 'soulmate'. And, oh, by the way, he gave me one of his kidneys which is still working for me even after some horrible ordeals. What more could I ever ask for. That, by the way, is true love and total devotion.
That's definitely enough for today. What a wonderful thing we have in living each day for God, for ourselves and for our loved ones.