Tuesday, June 24, 2008
What a weekend and what a week. I haven't gotten on for awhile because I couldn't get on the internet. Sometimes I'm a little dense, but I finally remembered that if I disconnect the wires and let the DSL box reset then it works. And of course it did and now it's even faster so guess it's been bogging down for awhile.
I have also been working diligently on writing my book. It has been too long since I worked on it and so then I have to reread some of it to get back into the story. I hope to share some of it for feedback soon, but I think I have to do some legal stuff first to besure it isn't stolen. Isn't it too bad we have to worry about that in order to share? Anyway, I am determined to get it done while I am healthy enough and focused enough. It's about 2 girls growing up and sharing their trials and stories when they are grown. Some of it is tough stuff but real stuff. It's a novel but based on alot of real life happenings. I hope it will make people feel blessed and realize that we can grow through things and not let life destroy us.
Now, though, my husband is getting ready to head for the hills for a week or more and he's taking our child (Myrtle). Even though she is a little bulldog she thinks she's our kid and acts like one too. It's our fault of course, but it's fun since our kids are all grown up.
It'll be interesting to see how many fish Myrtle catches, since she will probably just jump in the beaver ponds if she sees one. Of course she is a rock and will sink, so hopefully she'll pick a shallow one for Rick (my husband) to jump into to save her.
I know from experience that the fine black silt mud at the bottom of the beaver ponds acts almost like quicksand when you get stuck and boy, the black silt just doesn't wash out well. I have ruined many tennis shoes while camping and walking across beaver dams and through beaver channels. Eventually it happens and a leap or jump or slip landed us in the muck. We had to laugh though as one or the other of us came back to camp looking like the swamp monster a few times. What fun, except for the very cold snow melt water We found ourselves in. Brrrrr..
My grandchildren at the zoo!
Like Amber said in her blog, we went to the zoo on Saturday and had a grand time. Even Evan, her 4 month old son, enjoyed the trip and really liked looking at the otters swimming around. The glass was from the floor up and we could see all through the tank as they swam around and played with each other.
My 2 1/2 yr old granddaughter visiting the otters!
Their cousins came along including our autistic granddaughter. She did very well except for her escape and our search and rescue to find her. She was heading for the exit and the car and probably decided it was time to go home. Sometimes autistic kids get something in their heads and that's all they can think of. Since she doesn't speak more than a few words here and there and mostly repeating what she is told, she just saw the door open and ran for it. The two mommys went on the search and left the other 5 kids with me. We did fine though, eating animal crackers by the handful. Anytime like that is scary of course and she's done this before. Her mom is going to get a GPS device that she can have her wear and then she'll be able to find her if it happens in a bad place. I will definitely be happy when she can get it. Anyway, it didn't take long and we were on our way again.
Me and Izaiah
Oh, and I also got to see another of my grandson's, Izaiah Lee, that I haven't seen since the day he was born. Wow, what a difference 8 long months makes. From such a little guy to one that is crawling, standing and beginning to walk already. A happy boy too and even though he didn't know me he was friendly and enjoyed the little cardboard books I gave him. It's so good to hold and play with little ones. So precious and innocent. Love it!
As an update on my stuff, I am hopefully going back to Denver next week to get this PICC line out of my arm and another Hickman line put in my chest. This line in my arm is the pitts and has been bleeding everyday since it is too close to my elbow. Also, they have been trying to get my coumadin levels up and they got it up too high. Right now I am 'slick' or 'slippery' they said. That means my blood is way too thin and I don't dare get a cut. We'll probably get it straightened out just in time to do it all over again when they change the lines next week. Oh well, guess it's worth it this time. I just hate using the Lovanex though since it is a shot in the belly. Yuck!
To end on a happy note, I am feeling pretty well otherwise and am enjoying working on my book. That will be another way I can gift myself is in writing something for my family and friends to enjoy and hopefully others too.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Amber is 3 ahead of her, but she may catch up one of these days. Since Amber just had Evan in February, these two will be close to 11 months different in age. Pretty close and so much fun. There will definitely be plenty of clothes, no matter whether she has a girl or boy, so they won't have to buy anything unless they choose to.
Amber with 3 mo. old Evan
I am having fun with Amber lately because, now on her third child, she is finally deciding to use cloth diapers (at least while at home during the day). She's not too sure about the whole thing and called to complain
Amber and Evan playing when she had to change her first dirty cloth diaper. What fun. Guess what honey, you've finally been initiated into the world of down home mommy hood. Now there's the pail with water to soak them in, gloves to rinse them out in the toilet and the wringing out chore. Laundry will never be the same and then there is still the folding of the diapers to fit the little ones behind. Be sure to keep it snug around the legs to prevent leakage. Oh, and remember to keep some plastic pants around too.
I suggested leaving off the plastic pants during the summer as much as possible because of the heat and please, please, don't stick the little guy with the big diaper pin. I'm sorry honey, but your mama really did stick you good when you were only months old. What a mean mama I was but I sure did feel bad when you squalled.
The worst story I ever heard about diaper pins was told by our paster when I babysat for his children. When their first born girl was a baby, his wife changed her diaper as usual, pinned up the diaper and put the plastic pants and clothes back on. She couldn't figure out why she squalled and squalled and wouldn't quit. Frantic, she tried a bottle, rocked her, put a cool rag on her face, etc. but no luck. (You know where this is going I'm sure) Finally, she decided to check the diaper and sure enough she had inadvertantly pinned the diaper to her baby's tummy. Oh, ouch and how horrible she felt. He was able to laugh about it later but I'm not sure she ever did. After that, I was always very careful to keep my fingers under the layers and made sure when in poked through, it was my fingers that got the prick and not baby.
Well, Amber, I'm sure that you won't do that cause you are so very careful with everything concerning your little ones.
Ethan the little Dentist?
Don't worry, this diaper stage only lasts a few more years. See, your middle son is almost potty trained at night, right? well, maybe, but that doesn't mean this one will be such a heavy sleeper.
I am very excited for Krista and her husband, as they get ready for their first baby. My husband is really excited as he always is about babies. He loves them and they all love him too and claim him for themselves. He's just a toy for all young children. Actually kids of all ages.
Brenda with my son David and Meal time in the Rockies
My Brother Jimbo and his invention for making his own bows
During the 4th of July family reunion camping trips we have every year,he is the one who prepares and brings up stuff for the kids to do. He started out with paintball for bigger kids and adults.
Then we added sqirt guns for the younger ones. Last year he took my metal detector to the hills and before anyone else arrived he 'buried' treasure (coins) in the dirt arounbd camp for the kids to hunt for. This year he is bringing up the paintball guns but instead of shooting at each other, he bought 2 remote control SUV jeeps and built a frame and wire shield onto the vehicles so the balls won't destroy the cars. He will drive the vehicles through a course in the trees and kids will try to shoot them. They love it and the adults like interacting with all the nieces and nephews in the games as well.
Wish I could go, but since my two massive bleeds from my lungs the last two years after going into the high altitude and driving over extremely rough jeep trails to get there, the doctors have kaboshed my going there. I know all of my family would go somewhere lower so I could go, but I've turned that down so the kids can be free and yet safe to fish, hike, camp and run through the trees around camp. It's a large campsite, enough for 30-40 with tents, campers, 4 wheelers or bikes, and vehicles. It's so good to spend extended free time like that with all our family.
Since Brenda and I are part of a 7 sibling family, plus some aquired grown siblings and their families we sometimes have quite a crew there.
It's so wonderful to be part of a large family and that in itself helped me to be a better mom and to be able to do foster care for 15 years. I loved my 'yours, mine and ours' family and so I adopted 3 children also. I was most in my element when I had a housefull of kids. I was the oldest of our 7 and so it became natural for me to have lots of kids around.
A large family is a gifting family because we all shared everything (sometimes whether we wanted to or not). Have you gifted yourself to someone lately?
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Guess who got a much needed and a not so much wanted bath. You guessed it. She was not very happy about it but she let me wash her, with a pout, and actually does like it after the first few minutes until it's time to rinse off her head with a cup of water. Not so fun, and she let's me know it. As most dogs (and people) do, she felt great afterwards and romped all over the house working at getting Dad to play keep away with her toys.
Along the way and even at home I always notice flowers and I just had to take some pictures. My husband, the sweet man that he is, cut off the first blooming rose from our bush outside and gave it to me. Don't tell him I told you though, cause he's shy. He can't even stand to have his picture taken and tries to avoid it when he can. I have a few good ones of him when I can catch him just right.
Today we went to visit our other two little granddaughters. The oldest is Autistic but is doing better now. She just got a really neat little computer that helps her to communicate. She does say a word or two once in awhile and does some sign language, but this will help her in school and when she is with other people the most. She can find the picture of what she is trying to say, and when she touches the screen a voice says what she is asking or telling them. She is really enjoying it and her mommy is customizing it for her personal needs and abilities so she can make the most of it. Her little sister is a pistol and claims Grandpa as her own and doesn't mind letting her sister or me know that. She loves him and of course Grandpa always, always brings them each a sweet treat. It was nice to spend a little time with them again. Since my medical stuff started, we haven't seen them as much because, with autism, they sometimes have lower immune systems and get sick easily, which she did. Since I am on anti-rejection medication for my transplanted kidney, I can't and neither can my husband be around anyone with any kind of bug or catching illness. The doctor's finally took out her tonsils recently and she has been doing great ever since. Yea!
The MEN, my Dad, my husband and my brother are up doing some night fishing at Eleven Mile Resevoir right now. It'll be late when they get in and I hope they finally have some luck. Yesterday, when my husband took his Dad to Brush Hollow to fish in the little fishing boat, they each caught one. Rick got a rainbow trout and Mac got a walleye.
Tomorrow, my step daughter and step son are coming over for a BBQ for Father's Day so it should be fun. My daughter has three other Dad's to attend to including her husband so we'll just see her later.
I am actually going to keep this one fairly short and happy today. I love these kind of pleasant and relaxing days, don't you?
Friday, June 13, 2008
Well, I wish we were anyhow. Yes, my husband get's to go fishing again without me, boo hoo. Don't worry, I'm only a little jealous right now. He is taking his dad out fishing at Brush Hollow on his little fishing boat today.
It will be so good for them to spend this time out together and his dad really loves it. He decided not to take Myrtle this time (wonder why not??? ha), so they will be able to fish until they are content and without looking out for the little fish hook eating bulldog.
A baby Garter snake vs. worm
My Dad and his big Catfish!
Then,..now this is where I really do get jealous..on Saturday Rick and my brothers will be taking my dad fishing for Father's day at Eleven Mile Resevoir. Since it is at a much higher elevation (8,500?)and I can't go any higher than I am now (around 5,700) he will just have to stand in for me once again. I am so happy that he and my brothers and Dad have become close and can enjoy their 'MAN' stuff together.
I told him it's my turn next.
My brother eat's his days catch!
Dad Christen's his new 'Envy'!
By the way, I didn't mention in my last blog that the beautiful pictures of my grandchildren were taken by Amber, my daughter. She is a great photographer and takes the neatest shots of her kids. I hope she follows up with it and maybe goes into photography as a home profession as time and experiences allow. She took the pictures at my friends wedding last August and I made the wedding cake shown at the bottom of my blog page. She made my coursage for my wedding in 2001 and I made her very long veil and a smaller one for the dance at her wedding. I also took some really neat pictures at her wedding too. They were married right after a snow storm and everything was beautifully covered in deep white snow. Then when they left, the fog was so thick it blanketed the background and it had the coolest effect in the pictures. We both have alot of the same interests and abilities and it's been fun to share those. Guess, like Mother, like Daughter really does show through at times.
We have often talked about the traits children inherit from their parents both genetically and taught behaviors. She is such a clear combination of her father and myself and we have disected the differences and the sameness and laughed alot over them. She has become the so..special..close friend I always envisioned we'd be.
I still remember so vividly as I held my first brand new 12 hour old little red headed baby girl. I stood her up on my tummy (she was so strong she held her weight), and looked into her bright eyes. I thought about what she would be like as a young girl, then a teenager (heaven forbid) and then a young woman. I remember thinking that one day we would be sitting at lunch, drinking tea and visiting mother and daughter and being adult friends. I never saw it any other way. It has become a reality and so much better than I could have dreamed.
There were some tough times that Amber was drug through as a child, including having her 21 1/2 month old brother die of medical complications. She was a month away from turning 5 years old. How does a parent tell a child their baby brother is dead. It was the worst thing I ever had to do.
When I was a week or so from turning 8, my father had to do the same with my brother and me. Our mother and her sister were killed in an auto accident. My brother was 5 years old and remembers like I do when our dad took us outside to tell us that Mom wasn't coming home. He cried, of course, but we were both in shock I think, and I just remember looking at the texas sunset over Dad's shoulder with the shiloette of a farm tractor, as he held us close.
Amber has had to live with that same kind of loss and still deals with it. In alot of ways it caused alot of anxiety for her with her own babies through pregnancy, birth and toddlership. Her need to protect them is so strong, and finding a balance can be difficult, but she works on it daily. Her children have only given her a few (many) scares with trips to the hospital or doctor, etc. She will have to tell those stories if she wishes, but I think my daughter has been brave and weathered it all.
With those fears from her loss, you can imagine the thoughts and feelings she held up to when I gave her a run for her money. She is strong, because she has to be, but she still has such heart and I admire that. Because of my losses during childhood I became strong also, but I did it by closing up and denying my feelings of fear and anger. It affected me growing up and as an adult and I have had to work through alot of pain to become free and really feel. I guess that's partly why I can be happy and love and still do what I need to do. I also have a strong and loving husband who has stood beside me throughout it all this last 12 years I've known him and it has allowed me to become a whole person again.
I haven't even touched on our lives when I was a foster parent for 15 years and handled every type of child except street gang kids. That will be another story full of laughter, pain, frustration, fun and sharing our home with children who needed to know that someone cared about them. That kind of lifestyle does have an impact on your own family however and everyone is involved and becomes connected with each new child no matter whether it is a loving or conflicting relationship. I loved doing it and felt I was really helping these kids to become a little more whole again too. Things don't always work out the way we hope, but at least they won't forget what you teach them and give them freely and share with them on a daily basis.
I keep saying I want to pare my blogs down and not get so longwinded, but when I get going it's hard to stop. Hope I haven't bored you or made you tread water too much to keep up, but I do love reading about peoples lives also cause I can learn something new about my own life too.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
My granddaughter and her new brother
If it doesn't take care of it soon, before it get's into my bloodstream, they will have to start a new and seperate IV line to feed a stronger IV antibiotic to kill it off for sure. That could take time though and then I'll have IV lines going out both arms.
I also have to wear oxygen
If it wasn't so darn frustrating and difficult it would be funny. I will definitely have to laugh if my husband has to become my shower buddy and stand outside of it holding all three lines so they won't get contaminated. Hmm... wonder what he would have to say
about that. At least I'm at home, mostly able to do what I need to day to day and can sit outside and water the lawn with our little bulldog for company. I can play with my grandkids and fix supper for my husband and do so many things I couldn't evenb 9 months ago. No matter all the hassles and limitations, I have so much to be thankful for. I do take a pain medication through a patch but that mostly covers alot of the residual pain and so even though comfort is relative, at least I do experience it at times.
I still hope to touch base with other's with circumstances that prevent freedom in our daily lives due to medical issues. Let me know if you are one of them or know someone close to you that is experiencing troubles.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Myrtle is getting better but chomping at the bit. Due to the 2 surgerys and still having staples and stitches in her stomach, we have had to keep Myrtle tied down pretty tite. No running, jumping or rolling over to play. No hard food, only small quantities of soft or mushy food at any one time and no chewing on logs, sticks, household or otherwise unedible items.
Today, she just couldn't help it. My stepson Mike came over and Myrtle just loves Mike. She had to show off when she got hold of a dog toy and chased all over the house. There was no catching her, she was too fast with pent up energy and charged around like the little freight train that she is. She ran so fast she jumped up onto the couch and bounced off of the back rest and onto the cushions. Fortunately she didn't fall off and land on her head or her stomach.
Her tummy seems to be ok, even after her runaround game although I did do a warm washcloth compresws for awhile, so hopefully the last trip to the vet will be this Thursday when they remove the stitches and staples. She will be so very very happy and ready or not, the back yard will be covered in record time as she runs free spirited without a leash. We are all looking forward to that for sure.
On Friday, my hickman IV line that was infected, was removed and a temporary PICC IV line was added in my left upper arm. What a pain, literally and figuratively. I didn't realize how much of a pain it was going to be until I had to change my medication tubing and tank. It's impossible to unscrew the lines and replace them when the hookup joint is right at the inside of my elbow area. I didn't think about it until I had the pump and tubing ready to go, gloves on and cleaning solutions ready at hand. Then suddenly I looked down and realized my left hand fingers just weren't going to reach the hookups. I was glad my husband was at home so he could help me get the hookups done.
Then, today, I decided I would shower and then change the dressings at both sites, but, guess what..again the one-handed rule came into play. The advising nurse I called said I could not and should not atempt to do it one handed and that I needed a change partner every time I wanted to change it. (That being every other day, it could be a problem). Fortunately, my daughter, Amber, with her 3 kids in tow, came over and did it for me. She has CNA training already so it wasn't something new for her. What a jewel. I am so independant that it bothers me to have to ask someone else to do things for me, especially every other day for who knows how long.
The other site that is infected may need an IV medication to get rid of it and I sure hope the doctor tommorow doesn't suggest that. They can't use the line I have now for more than the medicine it's meant for so they would probably have to add another one. Hmm...I only have two arms so this could be really big mess and a complete hassle. Why wasn't this during the winter when I would just be inside keeping warm anyway. Why during the summer when I want to be outside in the yard or at the park or anywhere else.
I could keep complaining but that wouldn't get me anywhere but in more discomfort by focusing on it so guess I'll stop now. I guess I don't have to like it, but just go on with it anyway.
I am still hoping to connect with other's in the blogging world who have physical or medical drawbacks and who want to share good and bad times just to keep an even keel about our lives.
I do still keep my goals formost in my thoughts each day, remembering that I need to continue to clean out and throw or give away things I'm finished with or want certain people to have now. Other things, I am marking or putting into those large plastic containers from Walmart, with a name marked on each. Then whenever I come across something I want to give to someone I just add it to their container. After I'm gone, they can get the container or containers with their name. No one else will have to sort through and decide who they think I wanted to give something to or whatever. It will hopefully help make things easier and faster and the recipiant will know that I wanted those items especially for them.
I especially put in kids school keepsakes or little crafts they made for me over the years in school and track and field day ribbons, etc. Hopefully it will be fun for them to go through one day and remember back when.
I really hope having these things will help my adopted children that have been having a really hard time the last several years and have even stopped having contact with me. It is really unfortunate when teenagers get into harmful activitites and parents have to show tough love. Kids, especially kids who have extra questions about themselves, have a hard time with feeling loved when rules end up being a contender and they feel they need to fight them. I know that my almost dying the last few years, did affect their bonds with fear of loss. I hope that they will someday be able to recognize that I always and formost did and do love them. Maybe these little things from their childhood will bring back a little of their feelings of being loved and wanted. I still hurt over some of the past, but it's all in God's hands now and I've done all I can do for them except to keep on loving them.
For today, my daughter has gifted herself to me in her unselfish giving of time and help with my PICC line. Thank you dear daughter...
Any of you have wonderfull and gifting relatives and friends? I sure do!
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Can't say which of us (me or Myrtle) is worse. We both have issues it seems. Myrtle, poor thing was back at the vet's yet again with a leaking hole about 1/4 inch or more in diameter near her staples. I dropped her off this morning and they had to cut out a large patch of area around the hole due to infection and dead skin. They had to remove all the staples too because she was allergic to the metal they were made of. They cleaned it all up, stitched her up with regular stitching material and sent her home. She is once again, groggy and in pain. She is laying on our bed sleeping and waiting to be pampered tonight.
Red Poppies at my Dad's
While she was at the vets today, I traveled to Denver to see my pulmonary specialist for a checkup. I mentioned to him that I have been battling an infection in my hickman line (1st one I've had) for over a month now. He said the line will have to be replaced. So that is another trip on Friday to take it out and after 2 weeks to get over the infection they'll put another one in. they could have removed it today, but since I'm on blood thinners they have to wait a few days to get it out of my system. during the 2 week wait, they have to insert a pic (sp?) line so I can continue to get my IV meds which keep my lungs working and helping my heart. I guess me and Myrtle will be moaning on each others shoulders this weekend for sure. I feel bad for her though cause she'll have to stay mostly still for another 7 days at least. She wants so bad to play, but sorry baby.
Other than that, we are all getting along ok. No fishing for awhile even though the summer season is finally here. My plants have been a little neglected with all the doggy care and visiting family activities but at least most of them are still alive so far. Notice I said 'most', cause there are a few (actually several) that don't look too good or gave it up entirely.
None of the plants shown are mine unfortunately. I am envious of my dads so I take pictures of them to enjoy them that way.
We saw the grandbabies over the weekend and we really enjoy that for sure. My daughter posts some great pics of them regulary and she is a good photographer already. She's got a good eye for the subject, especially her little ones.
I'm going to actually keep this one short today and give ya'll a break. I want more time to visit ya'll too.
Oh, and wow am I excited about my sister Brenda making the announcement about moving back to Colorado next year. I am anxiously waiting for our first lunch date just because. That sounds so easy, but not when we only see each other a couple times a year.
We haven't lived close by since I left home in 1977. That's telling on me, huh.
Enjoy each day God gives you and bless yourself and others around you by sharing yourself, your real self.
Gotta go share myself with someone, so.. later ya'll.
Monday, June 2, 2008
The little squirrel in our back yard had become bold since Myrtle has been in prison and had the run of the yard. Boy was he surprised when that pesky dog came charging across the yard like the little freight train that she is and almost got him. He was treed in no time and Myrtle loved every minute of it.
I heard her barking and looked out the back window. Oh, no..she shouldn't be running or jumping just a few days after surgery. I ran to the back door and (with out thinking it through), called her to come inside. If I had thought about it, I would have taken the time to get my Oxygen bottle on and walked out with the leash to get her but no, I called to her. Just as usual, she came charging back all excited and leaped up the back deck stairs, stretching out all those tummy muscles.
In a very short time she was down and out, not feeling well. Later we noticed the bruising around her stitches and some swelling on the side. It just got worse and by evening it began to bleed a tiny bit and continued to swell. We were afraid she might be bleeding internally and my Dad suggested we feel around to make sure her intestines weren't bulging through.
Off to the doggy emergency hospital once again. Fortunately, the vet said the swelling was mostly fluid with a little bloody show but nothing serious but her stitches were pulled. The staples were intact on the outside thank goodness. So back home with another $200 bill. Oh, and they took an xray to see where the fishing hook was and it is gone (Yea!). I guess we missed it when checking but the xray was worth it to find out it's gone.
Myrtle is still not feeling very well but this morning she showed interest in being outside (on a short leash of course) so she's on her way up I'm sure. What a ride.
As many or more were inside along with kids running around cooling everyone off with their squirt guns after dinner.
All this while we had a BBQ to go to in Florence on Saturday night and I had to bake and decorate a large cake for my Mother and Father inlaws 55th wedding anniversary dinner on Sunday. With all the doggy care and worry and time constraints, the cake wasn't very professional but I did what I could. It was supposed to look like an old bunch quilt with tassles, etc. but the colors were too light, the travel was rough and the icing began to melt and slough off from the heat by the time we got there. Oh, well.The bologna sandwich is made with angel food cake loaf for the bread and gum tex (like fondant) for the bologna meat
We had 20 people for the small gathering on Sunday.
Olive Garden always 'crowns' their 'special' people of the day!