My blog is a way for me to share in the wonder of each day. I know there are others like me that due to medical issues have our days numbered and would like to make the most of them in a positive and gifting way for ourselves and for those around us.

Friday, June 13, 2008

A fishing we will go, a fishing we won't go...

My husband the born fisherman!
Well, I wish we were anyhow. Yes, my husband get's to go fishing again without me, boo hoo. Don't worry, I'm only a little jealous right now. He is taking his dad out fishing at Brush Hollow on his little fishing boat today.
It will be so good for them to spend this time out together and his dad really loves it. He decided not to take Myrtle this time (wonder why not??? ha), so they will be able to fish until they are content and without looking out for the little fish hook eating bulldog.

A baby Garter snake vs. worm

My Dad and his big Catfish!
Then, this is where I really do get jealous..on Saturday Rick and my brothers will be taking my dad fishing for Father's day at Eleven Mile Resevoir. Since it is at a much higher elevation (8,500?)and I can't go any higher than I am now (around 5,700) he will just have to stand in for me once again. I am so happy that he and my brothers and Dad have become close and can enjoy their 'MAN' stuff together.
I told him it's my turn next.

My brother eat's his days catch!

Dad Christen's his new 'Envy'!

By the way, I didn't mention in my last blog that the beautiful pictures of my grandchildren were taken by Amber, my daughter. She is a great photographer and takes the neatest shots of her kids. I hope she follows up with it and maybe goes into photography as a home profession as time and experiences allow. She took the pictures at my friends wedding last August and I made the wedding cake shown at the bottom of my blog page. She made my coursage for my wedding in 2001 and I made her very long veil and a smaller one for the dance at her wedding. I also took some really neat pictures at her wedding too. They were married right after a snow storm and everything was beautifully covered in deep white snow. Then when they left, the fog was so thick it blanketed the background and it had the coolest effect in the pictures. We both have alot of the same interests and abilities and it's been fun to share those. Guess, like Mother, like Daughter really does show through at times.

We have often talked about the traits children inherit from their parents both genetically and taught behaviors. She is such a clear combination of her father and myself and we have disected the differences and the sameness and laughed alot over them. She has become the so..special..close friend I always envisioned we'd be.

I still remember so vividly as I held my first brand new 12 hour old little red headed baby girl. I stood her up on my tummy (she was so strong she held her weight), and looked into her bright eyes. I thought about what she would be like as a young girl, then a teenager (heaven forbid) and then a young woman. I remember thinking that one day we would be sitting at lunch, drinking tea and visiting mother and daughter and being adult friends. I never saw it any other way. It has become a reality and so much better than I could have dreamed.

There were some tough times that Amber was drug through as a child, including having her 21 1/2 month old brother die of medical complications. She was a month away from turning 5 years old. How does a parent tell a child their baby brother is dead. It was the worst thing I ever had to do.

When I was a week or so from turning 8, my father had to do the same with my brother and me. Our mother and her sister were killed in an auto accident. My brother was 5 years old and remembers like I do when our dad took us outside to tell us that Mom wasn't coming home. He cried, of course, but we were both in shock I think, and I just remember looking at the texas sunset over Dad's shoulder with the shiloette of a farm tractor, as he held us close.

Amber has had to live with that same kind of loss and still deals with it. In alot of ways it caused alot of anxiety for her with her own babies through pregnancy, birth and toddlership. Her need to protect them is so strong, and finding a balance can be difficult, but she works on it daily. Her children have only given her a few (many) scares with trips to the hospital or doctor, etc. She will have to tell those stories if she wishes, but I think my daughter has been brave and weathered it all.

With those fears from her loss, you can imagine the thoughts and feelings she held up to when I gave her a run for her money. She is strong, because she has to be, but she still has such heart and I admire that. Because of my losses during childhood I became strong also, but I did it by closing up and denying my feelings of fear and anger. It affected me growing up and as an adult and I have had to work through alot of pain to become free and really feel. I guess that's partly why I can be happy and love and still do what I need to do. I also have a strong and loving husband who has stood beside me throughout it all this last 12 years I've known him and it has allowed me to become a whole person again.

I haven't even touched on our lives when I was a foster parent for 15 years and handled every type of child except street gang kids. That will be another story full of laughter, pain, frustration, fun and sharing our home with children who needed to know that someone cared about them. That kind of lifestyle does have an impact on your own family however and everyone is involved and becomes connected with each new child no matter whether it is a loving or conflicting relationship. I loved doing it and felt I was really helping these kids to become a little more whole again too. Things don't always work out the way we hope, but at least they won't forget what you teach them and give them freely and share with them on a daily basis.

I keep saying I want to pare my blogs down and not get so longwinded, but when I get going it's hard to stop. Hope I haven't bored you or made you tread water too much to keep up, but I do love reading about peoples lives also cause I can learn something new about my own life too.


Jo said...

There are a lot of people that hold back and just share the surface stuff. That's ok because that is what they are comfortable with. It is refreshing thought to read a post like yours. So don't ever change your way of blogging mainly because it is "You".

Have a blessed weekend.

Betty said...

I hope he didn't really eat that raw fish. Ugh!! It's nice that you still have your Dads to take fishing. My Dad has been dead 40 years.

Have a good weekend. Stay cool.

Amber said...

Thanks mom!
Love ya

Jess said...

I really enjoy reading your posts...and I think it is great that you are so open and honest and that you and Amber can have such a great relationship!

I hope he didn't eat that fish either!

Hope you have a great weekend